Richmond Baseball – Making a Name for Itself?
October 7, 2009 by Elizabeth
Filed under Featured, Totally Richmond
The Richmond Times-Dispatch posted an article yesterday regarding the names proposed for the new Richmond baseball team. If you haven’t been keeping up with the latest news regarding Richmond’s baseball saga, on September 30th it was announced that the good ol’ Diamond will be the place for Richmond baseball, at least for two years. Richmond’s Class AA franchise doesn’t feel totally sure that renovations will be possible to get the Diamond up to snuff, but they’re willing to think about trying.
So, Richmond’s Class AA franchise reached out to the Richmond community, asking for possible names for the new team. They are, to say the least, interesting. The five contenders were announced yesterday, with a little explanation as to why each one was considered. Below you’ll find the Times Dispatch’s explanation, with my comments in italics. Because I know you care very much how I feel about things.
Flatheads: a kind of catfish commonly found in the James River. Also a type of screwdriver, a type of engine, and a medical condition wherein one part of your skull is flat. Mayhap all the players will have this condition, and the souvenir hats will feature a flat part of the crown.
Flying Squirrels: soar in Virginia. Flying squirrels in the wild will live half as long as the ones who live in captivity, because they are such yummy fodder for predators. Like snakes, raccoons, coyotes, cats, martens and owls. So, we’re pretty much sunk if we play the Northern Division’s Portland Sea Dogs or the New Britain Rock Cats.
Hambones: paying homage to Virginia ham. And then, in between innings or in the outfield, the players can dance the hambone to unnerve their opponents.
Rock Hoppers: people or animals on river rocks. Players will be required to carry coolers of PBR wherever they go. Player’s dogs are also allowed to roam free on the field.
Rhinos: alliteration featuring a powerful image. No comment. While rhinoceroses are not indigenous to Richmond (obviously), rhinoceroses are mighty and powerful. In fact, if it weren’t for humans they would have no natural predators. That’s pretty cool. Additionally, their horns are said to be aphrodisiacs, so that means the Richmond baseball team will be extra sexy. And subject to poaching and endangerment. On second thought, no thanks.
Do you have a better suggestion? Further snarky comments? Bring ‘em on. You know we love to hear it!
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